Can we stop selling a "slow life" on the internet already?

Be passionate about slow living- but please, start embodying it OFF the internet.

Be passionate about slow living- but please, start embodying it OFF the internet.

I have seen a recent influx of big name influencers from instagram flooding my notes feed here on Substack.

But a couple creators in particular caught my sudden attention. The slow living mamas. I have a question for you-

Are you all not tired of content creating?

And for the consumers- are you all not tired of seeing it? It’s becoming a bit redundant, no?

Now look, this absolutely does not apply to all “slow life” creators. I see some of you, doing the thing, living your truth, moving to another country, off grid, and sharing bits and pieces of it on the internet, like specks of gold we all can collect and benefit from. I hold a genuine appreciation for the lifestyle. And I get the draw to sharing about it. But when it comes to the motherhood community, I am a little perplexed and a bit grossed out by the drive behind their social media presence, when it comes to a slower life niche.

There’s hundreds of thousands of people on the internet preaching about ditching their 9 to 5’s, non toxic living, homeschooling, home birthing, holistic health, regulating your nervous system, and any thing else you can squeeze into the genre of “against the grain” or "radical” lifestyle content.

Do I participate and live out most, if not all of these? Sure do. I freaking love birthing my babies at home, walking outside barefoot with my kids, somatic therapy, low-tox home life, etc. So my opinions on this conversation are not about the type of lifestyle itself, but more so the act of selling it on the internet. And when I say “selling” I do not mean actual practitioners, birth professionals, and others trying to help people improve their lives by providing a service. I am referring to influencers “selling” a lifestyle for their own personal gain.

Share your life on the internet if you want to, no one is stopping you clearly. But when your entire persona is living a slow, holistic, relaxed nervous system, slow childhood gig, here is where I draw the line:

Women jumping at any opportunity to grow a following, using every platform, posting endless content- 10 notes a day, a long form post twice a week, a vlog over here, a reel over there. There is no way you can convince me that this is all part of embodying an actual slow life.

We need to be real about what all goes into creating content, especially in video form.

Your phone, ring light, tripod, following you around all day, while you find the right angle, lighting, and moment to capture. Then you find and take the time to cut, edit, add voice overs, music, captions, the lot. All to present a little cutesy video of you frolicking in the yard with your kids, laying on a picnic blanket, baking bread in the kitchen, etc. to promote this romanticized version of your little sweet and slow life.

And you mean to tell me, you get all of this done, while your children just accept it? Tell us the truth, you cut out the moments where they are tugging at your $400 gingham print maxi dress, begging for your actual attention and time, to come look at the block tower they just built. But you have to tell them, “not right now honey, mommy is in the middle of documenting a pseudo version of our life for strangers on the internet.”

I’m not buying it, and neither should you.

I can barely get one long form post out weekly, on ONE platform. As I am doing my best to be as present as possible, in my actual physical life, in my physical home, with my real life family. I can’t imagine I am the only one who is ruthlessly trying to slow down and be where my feet are, and finds that one of the main routes to achieving this, is not focusing on what and when I can post on the internet. Honestly, deleting most of my social media has been the largest contributor to slowing down, being a present mom, and healing my nervous system.

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I would say that over the past 5 years, this “slow living” lifestyle has really made its way in the social media world. At first, like many, I was completely enthralled and captivated by the concept.

Seeing people sell all of their belongings and home to buy an RV with their family and travel the country, is truly inspirational. I won’t deny it.

I am all for the hippie, nomadic lifestyle. I applaud it. I also admire the homesteading community. The ones working to live off the land. The mothers who want better for their children’s education. Here for it. Women wanting to reclaim their femininity in the home. It’s all beautiful. And I fully support these movements. And many of us could benefit from learning a thing or two. The informational side of content can be life-changing, when consumed in moderation.

There’s so much wrong with our modern society. Broken education systems, hustle culture, girl bossing, over consumptions of goods, fast fashion, etc. To rebel against these constitutions and principles is extremely commendable, as far as I’m concerned. But how are we not considering the slippery slope that is social media influencing? Regardless of what it is you are influencing, it is still feeding the consumerism beast.

And if I am being honest, I can’t help but deem a desire to be seen, admired, and well known by strangers on the internet is all part of something unhealed inside of us.

I am guilty of this too and I believe none of us are an exception to this desire, to some degree. The world of social media is a trap meticulously set up for us to fall into. But after doing some heavy personal work, I’ve been able to tone down the desire to be seen, and pivoted toward a desire to share and express, for the sake of expression!

Social media platforms like instagram and TikTok are quicksand for the self. They are a vortex that will swallow you whole, altering your perceptions of reality and your own identity. It will have you using up infinite amounts of brain space and precious daylight, considering how you can formulate and share your life through videos, pictures, and captions. It’s a thief of this beautiful life that is standing right in front of us, as soon as we put the damn phone down to look around and breathe it in.

That being said, I am no longer buying into the “slow living, slow motherhood” content. Especially when it’s coming from creators who are clearly spending most of their days curating content to promote and show off their lives. That is not slow living. That is consciously creating a life that looks good on the outside. That is caring more about getting people to see, like, and follow along, then it is about fully practicing what you’re preaching.

Crochet the hat, make the bread, hang the laundry on the line, read the children’s books, make the crafts, sew the blouse, grow the garden, and then sit and enjoy the fruit of your efforts, with your family, without sharing it on the internet. And then tell me how it feels to truly live a slower, more present life.

Because promoting a lifestyle, of any sort, is not actually living. It’s showcasing.

Also- I feel I speak for many when I say… We are naïve to think that this platform will stay quiet, wholesome, and not become just another space on the internet for people to devour for their own egotistical gain. But I hope that it at least inspires the content creating fanatics to re consider how they show up in this space. Because we like it here, for all the reasons it’s not like the others.